you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
