lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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