Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
