i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
