Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
