its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
zippers are such a cool invention
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
