Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?