Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
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I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same