Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize