Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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