I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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