with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
