He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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