He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
