hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
