so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
