Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
