Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
