Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
