never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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