I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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