Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
