Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
