i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Mom said you looked used
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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