I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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