I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize