He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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