dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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