Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
