he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
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she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
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Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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