We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
