did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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