So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
