Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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