I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
