I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
