What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Boobs are out for the taking
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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