How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
