He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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