Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
