you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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