I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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