You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
