Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
