Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
