All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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