Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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