shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
