just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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