I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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