i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
