i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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