Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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