If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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