paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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