It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
