Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
