If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize