This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
