shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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