Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
